Step it up and dance!

So my whole remembery organ really just isn't up to speed, and lately I've been thinking that I need to write more stuff down so that when I am elderly I will actually have memories upon which to reflect. Clearly if I leave it up to my brain there will be nothing, just a big room with gray walls and no memorabilia tacked up. Boring! My journal is too big to carry around and since I'm obviously never going to finish it, literally, it will never be done, I've started jotting stuff down in the back of my planner. I'm considering just ripping out the remaining pages of my journal and beginning another one, one that is more conducive to carrying about. Also, there is a double bonus, because not only will stuff be written down, but my memory will be strengthened by the writing, which is what tends to happen with me. I have a strange brain-to-hand connection or something. I've also been trying to take more pictures because on the days when words escape me at least I'll have pictures to remember by; also, are you a fucking photographer or not, you bitch? Seriously. It shames me that I can go days without picking up my camera. Schoolwork is no excuse.

So I think that right about now we will see how my resolutions are going thus far this year. Since that was the last thing I wrote. Three months ago.

1. I have totally saved a hundred dollars every month so far. Even though I am broke as a joke and this means that I literally have no money. Whatsoever. It's okay! One day I will!
2. Okay, the one picture a day thing hasn't really been working out, but I'm definitely going to start trying harder with that one. A picture a day is like a really good visual journal.
3. I haven't started an exercise routine yet, but I HAVE started taking the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator. All the time. I feel this is a good place to begin.
4. I totally grocery shop all the time! I have food. It is awesome. Sometimes I even go ONCE A WEEK! But I definitely get to the store at least every other week. Win on this one.
5. The journal thing, not so much. But I am writing. I've written once or twice a month since the beginning of the year. This is still better than I had been doing!
6. I have definitely been procrastinating less. At least on certain things. I still procrastinate everything from my film class, if only because I forget about it until the day it's due because I just don't care that much. But I had my last assignment for my studio class finished two days before it was due. I'm getting better.
7. Many fewer breakdowns! Yay for not crying! And freaking out! I dunno what it is, maybe it's the vitamin B complex I take religiously every day or maybe it's the warmer weather or maybe it's because I'm just happy lately, but I've only had one major breakdown so far this year (about school, more specifically why am I in school, more specifically I decided I sucked at everything and should just drop out) and that was when I had had very little sleep or food. Excusable. Mostly.
8. I'm getting much better at chilling out. I think it's due in part to the fact that I procrastinate less, and also I sometimes just don't care about the stuff that I could be doing instead. Why should I clean the living room for the second time in three days when it's just going to get messy again, and also, Bravo is always playing something awesome that I could be watching instead? Pass me the remote.
9. Have not even made a dent in the unread books. Finding it very hard to not buy more anyway. Moving on.
10. I haven't started a quilt, but Rob and I talk about it quite a bit. This is, in my opinion, an excellent start. We plan to quilt together and drink margaritas all summer.

So! There we stand. I think making achievable and life-bettering resolutions was certainly a good choice. And! Today is my last day at my job. Not a resolution, but something I had been thinking about for some time. I go to work for my dad on Monday. I get to ride public transportation (which I have a strange and unhealthy love for). I get to design a logo and poke at parking meters and maybe build stuff. I can't wait.

The other day Emily and I were in the car on the way to Sam Flax to buy mat board. A song came on the radio that I hadn't heard since like fifth grade or so and I commented on that fact and wondered aloud who the artist was. Emily said, "I dunno, I think it's like, maybe Fastball or something? I'm not sure." The song ended and the DJ was like "That was Fastball, with..." whatever the hell the song was called. So I was like, "Emily, you were exactly right, and it's like you pretended not to know who they were, like you were kind of unsure about the band name, you know? 'Well, I'm not really sure, but I think it might be Fastball?' And meanwhile you've got five Fastball CDs in the pocket of your door and like, a Fastball poster taped up in the back of your closet behind your clothes where you can look at it every day but no one else will know." We were both laughing hysterically, because that's what we do, and it's now become something of a running joke between us. Probably one of my favorites. Yesterday she and I were watching "Step It Up and Dance" with Kyle on Bravo and making fun of Elizabeth Berkeley because she kind of sucks. Kyle was defending her and all of a sudden Emily goes, "Listen to Kyle! He's like, 'Guys. Seriously, she's like kind of ok, right? I mean, I don't think she's that bad. She's kind of hot.' And suddenly a bunch of Elizabeth Berkeley trading cards fall out of his pocket."

Okay! Hi! I'm doing that resolution thing!

Hello, 2008! You came a little quicker than I expected, but that seems to be the trend with passing years now that I am climbing the age ladder, as it were. Remember how slowly you years changed when I was small? No more! You astound me with your speed now, you stealthy swift years. Avast! New Year's resolutions! I make these this year not so much as, "I MUST DO THESE THINGS THIS YEAR OR I WILL LOSE AT LIFE" but more as, "I think that these things would be very nice goals to accomplish, and I think I will work hard at accomplishing them but not beat myself up if I fall short of the finish line." Onward!

1. Save at least $1200. This is accomplish-able; it's only $100 a month and surely my broke ass can manage that. Plus my savings account is seriously cold and lonely after last year's Europe trip, MacBook, and D40.

2. Take one good non-school-related picture every day. Flickr has a great group for this called Project 365, and I'm going to join it so I can post daily and keep myself motivated. Sometimes during the school year I forget how much I love taking pictures just for shits because I do it all the time for homework. This year I want to make sure I remember why I'm in school for this: because I love it more than anything.

3. Exercise. I'm not going to have a set-in-stone this-many-days-a-week thing, because I'm a slacker and I know I'll fail at that. Plus I walk a lot and I'm not drastically worried about my health (yet), but I'm not in shape and I know I could feel better about my health and my body. I have a class schedule to where I could work out running or swimming or something else at the GSU gym a couple days a week. I think I'll aim for once a week to start with. Aim low! It's harder to fail that way!

4. Grocery shop every other week. I hate grocery shopping and I normally wait way too long to do it, which results in me spending loads of unnecessary money on fast food when I don't have anything for lunch at work because I haven't bought groceries in six weeks. But then I get groceries, and I love it so much! I have food! I have fresh vegetables and fruits! I have lunch stuff! I need to do it every other week. I should never again be faced with the prospect of eating frozen Brussels sprouts and canned tuna fish for dinner. Ever again.

5. Write in my journal once a week. It's not that hard. I've had the same damn journal since March of 2005 because I'm such a slacker about writing. But then I get sad when I open it and I haven't written in forever. SELF-PERPETUATING, DUMMY.

6. Procrastinate less. This is hard to measure or quantify, but I really need to do it. Or not do it. The procrastinating, I mean. I started figuring this out last year: if you just DO your SHIT when you SHOULD, then you have time to relax and not feel GUILTY for not DOING your SHIT! Seems obvious, yes? Not to me.

7. Stress, freak out, breakdown, panic, etc. less. I waste too much time and emotion doing all of these things. I'm trying to learn to roll with the punches.

8. Be able to chill out without feeling guilty that I'm not being productive. I'm really bad at this. It doesn't matter whether I literally have nothing at all to do: no school, everything's clean, everything's done -- I still cannot chill out without feeling like I should be doing something better with my time. I need to get past this.

9. Finish all of the unread books on my shelf. Probably even including Anna Karenina. But maybe not. All of the other books, though. I tried to do that last year and then all seven Harry Potter books got in the way and it just didn't happen. Unfortunate!

10. I would really like to make a quilt this year. I don't know if this is even a feasible resolution, but it feels like it might be. Between work and school and life, it seems like this is the kind of thing that probably won't happen, but you never know, and I'd really like it to happen, so I'm writing it. Quilt! 2008!

Okay! So yay for resolutions! Or maybe not... uh... resolutions, so much as... I don't know, hopes? Wishes? Frothy unicorn dreams? These are probably the most chickenshit resolutions ever, not because they suck or anything, but because I am being so noncommittal about them. Not that I have a problem with failure or anything; I just don't like to be tied down.